Monday, November 21, 2011

how to get in a k-pop music video

Apparently, my post on dressing like a K-pop boy band member gets more hits than any other post (except for my Bonnaroo survival guide, which is kinda crap), so I decided to ride the popularity wave and give a few pointers on how to get in one of those neon-crazed, seizure inducing, faux club videos.

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1. Join a Korean girl group. Not only will you be in the video, you will be featured in the song. You will have a riff where you belt out a few "whoo" and "yeah" sounds in between grammatically incorrect Engrish.

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2. Look like a CF model. According to the NY Times, there are lots of options for plastic surgery in southern Seoul (read: Apgujeong). If going under the knife isn't something that interests you, dress like a hipster bag lady. (Channel Kreayshawn. And maybe Ke$ha.) You've got to stand out for being really (generically) pretty or so fugly that you're interesting.

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3. Be white. But this only works if you look Russian. No American white girls. They want the tall model types with super white skin. If you have a tan, you don't have a chance. If you're black, you don't have a chance. No Latinos either. Don't be sad - typical Korean girls don't have a chance to pretend to party with G-Dragon and T.O.P. either.

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4. Become friendly with anyone who works in the industry. Producers, writers, music video directors, set designers, stylists, cameramen - there are an infinite number of people with access to the set. All you have to do is befriend one with your beguiling charms, and MAGIK! You are pumping your fist in the air for two hours with 2PM.

5. Sneak onto the set. Only works if you have excellent sleuthing skills. Also, being a ninja helps.

photos: screencapped by yours truly from Youtube (Big Bang "High High", 2PM "Hands Up"), google images




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12 comments:

  1. be able to carry somewhat of a tune usually just for two measures to sing some repeated english phrase during the chorus hook

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  2. Lol I love how your post on how to look like a korean popstar is kinda sarcastic (while those who found your blog probably want to look like said pop star)

    Btw is the caucasian girl her: http://sustainablefashionblog.com/?p=6

    Btw my friend is Russian living in Korea and she has to dye her hair black and look as Korean as possible because she always gets mistaken for as a prostitute. :S

    -Sam

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  3. Sad, you have demolished all dreams of me ever being in a video with my tan skin (well maybe other demographics would still have me;).

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  4. HAHAHA this is brilliant. but yeah. FUK BOIZ.

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  5. thanks for the reassurance! and Im so glad I found your blog, what a joy to read. being in a kpop group is an ultimate dream of mine!

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  6. First off you should do research. You used the video T.O.P and G Dragon video High high in which there was not only a black female but a black male and a spanish girl. Not only that some of the white girls in there were American white not European. Then you used the 2pm Hands up if you watch there is an African girl in the back. And if you were a fan of older Kpop you would know that Dbsk has a music video featuring black spanish and tanned korean women.

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  7. ...I wanted to be nice about this but you've got to be the dumbest person to post a blog of this. My friend says I'm evil but I just think this "society" has pampered people like you. One: you clearly don't know korean music if you're posting this blog. There have been quite a few mv's with black women and spanish women in them. Three: you can't base your "blog" on 2...yes i said it 2 music videos. Please watch more videos and school yourself! for yourself and the many people who "actually" follow this blog; whom i feel sorry!...STUDY!

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  8. Hi, Anonymous,

    Stay in school. You're gonna need that education.

    You might want to pay special attention in English class, when your teacher goes over the concept of "sarcasm." You should also take notes during the lesson on quotations. You've misused them.

    I could care less about K-pop. It's a marketing scheme for large corporations to funnel money from wide-eyed, teenage girls into their "fat cat" pockets. (See what I just did there? "Fat cats" is in quotes because it's a terminology used by the media to describe corporate CEOs who line their pockets by deceiving the general population. It's not a word that I generally use but is appropriate in this situation.)

    But hey, I've succeeded in my marketing ploy because this single post has garnered a significant number of hits - partly in thanks to people like you. So, thanks for making me a virtual "fat cat." I've always admired the work of Maurice 'Hank' Greenberg. (Again, this is sarcasm. I do not, in actuality, admire the disgraced, former CEO of AIG.)

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  9. Wow Anon2...just wow....

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  10. Question and I'm neither Anon1 nor Anon2 but why makee blogs about something you don't care about? Couldn't you blog about something you care about? Not trying to ruffle any feathers.

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  11. Your blog tickles me with the fact it's pretty much dripping with sarcasm. But I think anon2 was making a pun on what people call society and what you call your blog. Just my opinion.
    Love Anon3 or 4 or 5 whichever I will be.

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  12. I think what she was meaning was for the black women I their videos was that don't seem to have a direct role in them..like romantic,dramatic..or something as petty as flirting as seen in the 2PM video. Yes, there is a black woman in the background,but that is it. Taecyon flirts with two White women in then video and it's the same in TOP and G-dragon's video.

    In most K Pop videos and shows,you don't find my foreigners in them and when you do,they are not going to be no more darker than Jessica Alba.Most of them are White. I'm not condemn them for being in the videos,but it's an insult for them not to include Blacks as leads in their videos,but insinuate their dances,dress or will even go as far to insult them with Black face.Many Black people support Pop,kpop'but I can imagine the feelings of them being told that we like you music,but you're not good enough to be lead in our programming.

    Another problem that bugs are with some of the pop fans. I cannot tell you the amount of nastiness that can come from them whenever a Black person is mentioned in K-pop on such example is Telisha Shaw. As long as she was with JYJshe received a lot of racial hate for it,yet if you were not Black you didn't anti-fans weren't as mean to you. There is so much racial standards with some ofthemuntil you know them like a book.

    Some of the fans and the singers want to make it big I the states.If I could give them any words of advice it would be for them to learn the do's and dont's of the states. If they want to make it big in the here,they have to be fair. People ate looking at them..VIPs are doing the same..and some of them are Black.If people constantly see that they are no Black or other minorities in their videos it will...like other people that they don't like or want them in their videos.South Korea is monoracial and people get that,but it wouldn't be fair if only white people get leads,and not Blacks. Though we have enough racial strife here in then states,it would be discrimination and it wouldn't be tolerated.

    If this do happen,it can not only put a Black eye not only on the K-pop singers,but on Korea..and even on their chances of increasing their fame in the states. There have been several well known Singers and actors whose good names have been tarnished for life because of their racist,religious or homophobic views about others.If it can happen to those very famous people like them,it can happen to pop k pop singers.

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