we walk in shoes too big

Living in suburbia makes one crazy, so occasionally I venture out to crazy, kitsch places like Medieval Times. I can't lie - the show Camelot (on the Starz network) has reopened my obsession with the King Arthur tales. We had to study them as freshmen in high school, and I really loved the book "The High Queen," which I thought was slightly racy to be on the curriculum for a Catholic high school.

Aside from all the speech about honor and valiance, you get to witness jousting, sword fights, and shitting horses. The only downside is that there are no utensils. I have this stigma about eating with my hands. Also, I feel ill when I watch people lick their fingers. It really disgusts me. Why would you do that? If the chicken is really that good, just order another piece.

No utensils, see?

Our favorite was the black and white knight, but we were sitting in the yellow knight section.

I seeeeeeeee youuuuuuu.

What happened to Wayne Gretzky's face? You know you've fallen when you're advertising for Skechers.

top. black tank by Monki, lace bodysuit by Cheap Monday
pants. Acne
jacket. Zara
belt. H&M
shoes. Aldo
bag. Gucci